When You're Here, You're Fatalities. by Nikolas P. Robinson

Unlimited Blood and Breadsticks Makes for a Tasty Dish

I was excited to learn that this story I’ve heard so much about was up on Godless. I don’t know how I missed this one during the Antichristmas event. I may be late to the party, but like Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman, I’m damn glad to be here! When You’re Here You’re Fatalities is a fast-paced read whose setting may be terribly familiar to those who have worked in food service but whose final act is novel in its about-face from what is expected. As I was consuming this one like so much rubbery fettuccine Alfredo, I kept thinking I knew exactly where it was heading, but like all great horror stories it had other ideas in store. Nikolas P. Robinson does an equitable job of building character and mystery from page one, and manages, within a conservative number of pages, to set up the climax while doling out some impressive redirects along the way. This one leaves you wanting more if it’s ancillary cast, especially Stoner Steve, but it leaves you wanting even more of its disgruntled heroine. We’ve all known a Donna and some of us have been her. Recommended for anyone who enjoys slashers, particularly those who have worked in food service. Manje!

Page turner!

I loved the idea behind this book. A slasher running crazy in a restaurant of all places. Robinson did a fabulous job on this. The tension had me flipping through the pages to find out what happened next.

It’s a book!

Ok so first off, This is most certainly a book. It’s digital and shiny and does book things. You push the page button and it moves the page! Yay! And it has a cover. A most shiny pretty cover that…“looks at cover” oh that’s disturbing. So there’s that I guess. And then when you read top to bottom, left to right, I guess some story comes out and it’s great. Just great. It’s about… “Donna just started her job as a waitress at Pimento Patch only to find out the restaurant would be shutting its doors for good. Along with a skeleton crew of slackers, she accepted the offer of full pay to work overnight cleaning the place up in preparation for the looming vacancy. Unfortunately, this particular Pimento Patch restaurant has a dark history, and a sinister presence has something in store for the five crew members on staff that night. Prepare for the breadstick massacre, because When You're Here, You're Fatalities” Hey look at that, the name of the book is in the preview which is in the review. Very meta. So yeah. It’s 50 cents. Buy it to support an artist that needs to be reminded that he’s really good at what he does.